being forced to make a change...

I am currently being forced to make a change. Several actually. Anyone who knows me knows there are a few things I simple to NOT like:
1- Being told/forced to do something.
2-Change.
3-Uncertainty.

About a month ago I was laid off from a job I loved that I had been doing for just over seven years. (Now, when I say "loved" I mean that I enjoyed the people I worked with and felt as though I was making a difference in the world and that I helped promote a cause I believe in.)
Now, for the first time since I was eight years old (yes, eight) I find myself unemployed. No job. No direction. No set schedule.

Forced change.

Uncertainty.


I have learned so much during the past month, about myself, about things I need to change.

1-I have found the whole series of events both freeing and stressful. Freeing because I can do whatever I want with my days, no schedule, no accountability to anyone. Stressful because I have no schedule, no accountability to anyone.

2-I've been telling myself for years that I'm a people person, that I get energy from being around others. Honestly, I thought it was a line I was telling myself because of the necessity to be around people. I'd often come home so tired at the end of the day that I really thought that people drained me.. you know, actually being NICE to people. So, the lesson I learned: I really am a people person and really do get energy and motivation from being around other people. When my roommate is home studying, I get more done. It's almost magical how much better I can concentrate. When I'm around people, I can hardly stop talking, just blabbing on and on. PLUS, I'm funnier. I know, it's hard to believe, but I think because I spend a limited time with actual people that my best material just flows out effortlessly.

3- I prefer going to the temple in the middle of the day in the middle of the week.

4- I am a ridiculous procrastinator.

5- I am afraid of more things than I ever knew.

6- I am strongly motivated by fear.

7- I am stronger than I realized.

I plan on taking that last lesson and putting it to the test. I’m not a fan of change, but now that I’m faced with it, I’ll be it’s fiercest ally. I’ll find whatever it is that God has in store for me, I’ll accept the challenge and even if it scares the crap out of me, I’ll conquer it. THAT is my new resolution, my new challenge.

There’s just something about being forced to make a change.