...not expecting anything back...but getting it anyway.

I learned a valuable lesson the other day. I think the talk with my 12 year-old self is really paying off.

I spent all last week brooding, worrying, festering. If you’d have asked me last week it was because I was feeling used and neglected, in truth, I was being insecure and selfish. I packed all of that into my shoulder bag and carried it like a chip all week long. It even spilled over into Monday morning.

Then, mid morning I received some information that changed my perspective. I won’t go into all the details, but this is what I learned: When I give to someone (whether it’s money, a gift, friendship, love, anything) I need to give it to them.

Too often we give things expecting something in return, perhaps not immediately, but we expect to get something in kind. That’s just how mortals are built.

I was worried all last week that I had an unbalanced friendship. I was concerned I needed this friendship more than my friend did and continued to further worry that I needed her more than she needed me (so basically, I was totally worried about me). When the truth of the matter is, my friend was having a terrible week and just needed her friend to check in on her and not be so worried about herself (that being me).

I get that maybe if she was more worried about other people she wouldn’t feel so bad for herself, but I’ve been where she is… and she has to decide all that for herself. Meanwhile, I need to be there for her. Offer a hand to that might pull her out of her rut, invite her to stuff, even when she may not be the best friend ever to me. I had a friend that did just that for me not so long ago, the most wonderful part, she didn’t even realize until I thanked her that she’d even done it.

Her comment to me, “Glad I could be that person who pulled you out of a rut… I had no idea...but you know, that’s what friends are for…right?”

So that’s my lesson I learned today. To stop focusing so much on what I need and more on what other people need. To give without expectation of something back, because I don’t NEED something back right now, but someday, I might… and someone will be there for me. Not that I’m expecting that, but that’s just how God works.

There’s just something about not expecting anything back...but getting it anyway.